A-Z of Joy: G is for Greenfingers(Mr), Gardening and Gratitude

Mr Stayingawake's other nickname, for blogging purposes, is Mr Greenfingers. When he was suffering from  depression a few years ago, related to him losing contact with his children, a counsellor he was talking to at the time suggested he take up gardening as therapy. His Dad had always been a keen gardener, and Mr G had lots of knowledge about growing, that he never used. He started getting out into the garden everyday. I took some time off work to be at home with him, and took him out to garden centres so that he could buy seeds, plants and develop his interest. Gradually, although there were relapses, he started to feel better.

Mr Greenfingers is a very joyous personality. He brings a smile and a laugh to others whenever he can. That is another of his talents. Though he is much better now, I feel that he is not the same person he was before we faced the loss of his children eight years ago. We have also faced other challenges, as everyone does in life; some of these thrust upon us, some of my own making. Throughout all of this, Mr G's courage, his humour and his steadfastness has brought so much joy, love and support into my life. More than I could ever have imagined.

Mr Greenfingers brings so much Joy with his Gardening. Here are some of his first "creatures".

A Fuchsia rom Mr G's garden - 2009

From Mr G's Garden - 2009

More blooms that bring joy from Mr G's garden - 2009

Some fruits(or rather veg) from Mr G's labour - August 2010

We all know those times when life throws us a curved ball, everyone of us has them. Sometimes they come one after another, and fast. We catch, and catch, and run, and run, feeling neat and tidy, and a little bit proud of our catching skills.

Remember the satisfying smack-sound, and the feel of the ball as it lands, as if pulled by a magnet, snugly into your cupped hand, neat trick eh?

Remember playing for your team, smacking the ball with your bat just right, into the sky; then dropping the bat and running as fast as you could before the ball starts to return to earth.

Remember playing two ball against the wall, or juggling? What fun it was. How great to be able to keep up the momentum. I can hear the rhythm of it even now.

Then sometimes, a ball is heading in your direction, that is not simply curved, but so huge that it bowls us right over. We are on the floor, we miss the catch (as it just isn't possible); and we drop all of the other balls we have been keeping up too!

It's those times that make the capacity to feel joyous much harder. There are also theories about genetics and personality, that suggest that some people are simply more predisposed to more feelings of sadness or to being more joyful. I must say I do wonder if that is the case sometimes. Of course early childhood, parent's personality, education and parenting style impact. Also the support systems you have around you as a child and in adult life also play a part in building resilience.

One G that has also helped me through some really difficult times, is a daily Gratitude practice which I started in June 2008 and continued for most days until August 2010. It becomes a way of thinking after a while, so much so that I don't need to write it down all of the time, and definitely a source of increasing the feelings of Joy. I suppose at particularly difficult times in life, it is a good idea to return to the practice of writing gratitudes down.

When I started writing this post, I found an article called ""15 ways to put more joy into your life"  written by this author and motivational speaker, and summing up why I had wanted to focus on Joy for this A-Z challenge. I have always been a very serious person since childhood, often unconsciously focusing on what is missing in my life rather than celebrating what is here. After a few years now of allowing myself to grieve properly for the loss of my Mum in childhood, I had arrived fully at this place where I know how wonderful my life is with all it's light, yes and even with all of it's shadow.

Strangely I started my A-Z of joy challenge and read these articles before this current shock of a curved ball hit us this week. As I remarked in my last post, it is almost as if the Universe was getting me ready for this one. I am Grateful for the journey that has brought me to this moment.