"As a culture we are not in the habit of respecting, honouring, or even acknowledging the pause. (Culturally the most common reference to the pause was given over to Coca-Cola, which promised 'The pause that refreshes'. In other words, whenever there is a moment you are not busily doing something, Eat, Drink. And here's what we want you to eat or drink). Women know this very well. At menopause, a time of extremely high power and shape shifting, we are told to behave as if nothing is happening. To continue the 'game' of life as if we are still girls. We are not girls. And to continue to act as if we are robs the world and the coming generations of our insights. Insights readily available to us at this particular time which is a highly significant universal moment of reflection.I am convinced that in earlier times women during menopause drifted naturally to the edge of the village, constructed for themselves a very small hut, and with perhaps one animal for company - and one that didn't talk! - gave themselves over to a time without form, without boundaries. They were fishing in deep waters, reflecting on a lifetime of activity and calling up, without consciously attempting to do so, knowledge that would mean survival and progression of the tribe."
Alice Walker - We are the ones we have been waiting for (Pages 39 - 40)
In the book from which the above quote comes from, Alice Walker then shares a poem called "Until I was nearly fifty", that she says she could not write until she was through a particular pause time in her life. She couldn't write it before or during this pause because before she could get to the point of "generosity to youth" that the poem describes, she had to "enter into, give herself over and endure the pause."
She then share the poem below, which she says is from that same period but just as "the pause was coming to a close and she could begin to see some gifts".
She then share the poem below, which she says is from that same period but just as "the pause was coming to a close and she could begin to see some gifts".
Loss of Vitality
Loss of vitality
Is a sign
That
Things have gone
Wrong.
It is like
Sitting on
A sunny pier
Wondering whether
To swing
Your feet.
A time of dullness
Deadness
Sodden enthusiasm
When
This exists
At all.
Decay.
You wonder:
Was I ever “on”
Bright with life
My thoughts
Spinning out
Confident
As
Sunflowers?
Did I wiggle
My ears
& jiggle my toes
From sheer
Delight?
Is the girl
Grinning fiercely
In the old photo
Really me?
Loss of vitality
Signals emptiness
But let
Me tell you:
Depletion can be
Just the thing.
You are using
Have used
Up
The old life
The old way.
Now will rush in
The energetic,
The flexible,
The unmistakable
Knowing
That life is life
Not mood.
