Noticing the beauty

 

Another August Day Ending!

August seems to be flying by and as for the break aspect, well I think that my break will come in another month or two. The years keep on coming and going too don't they? These photos were taken on my son's birthday last Wednesday. As we stood and gazed at the beautiful sky together, taking photographs and pausing for a moment, I felt that all too familiar feeling creeping over me. You know the one, the one that longs for the past just a teensy bit and the one that tinges the edges of happiness with just a hint of sadness. It's the one that makes you cry at weddings too, or at the happy endings in a film. You know the one!

I wrote in my morning pages today, about finally feeling that I am starting to live more in the present moment. So the August days flying by(and the years), are not causing me any anguish or resentment really. Life is fuller than it was, I am making it so, and the fear is lessened. Time is short, so these days I fill it up with good things, rather than bemoaning this fact. I am acknowledging the darkness and the light. I am practicing acceptance. I am a beginner in this please note, so it takes practice. I think it always will.

Julia Cameron in "The Artist's Way" writes:

It is the inner commitment to be true to ourselves and follow our dreams that triggers the support of the universe. While we are ambivalent the universe will seem to us also to be ambivalent and erratic. The flow through our lives will be characterized by spurts of abundance and long spells of drought, when our supply dwindles to a mere trickle.

If we look back at the times when the world seemed to be a capricious and untrustworthy place, we will see that we were ourselves ambivalent and conflicted in our goals and behaviours. Once we trigger an internal yes by affirming our truest goals and desires, the universe mirrors that yes and expands it.

There is a path for each of us. When we are on our right path, we have a surefootedness. We know the next right action - although not necessarily what is just around the bend. By trusting, we learn to trust.

Beautiful!

Driving back I wanted him to linger a while longer so I suggested we drove to the beach to see the sunset.

Dear Mum,

25th August.
Today is a special celebration day as a very beautiful person was born on this date, just a few years ago ;). When you look at him, you may not see that beauty, it may not be so obvious to you, but it is there shining out. He has a little light that somehow, despite all the odds, grew to be so determined to shine! So many people can see his light and I am grateful for that! It says so much that so many people love him.

I so wish he had known his Grandma. I know that you would have been just the best Grandma for him, helping me in making sure he was safe and whole.

Sending blessings to him now and always. Wishing only the best and that these wishes may make up for what is missing or is passed.

No more for now but will write again soon. Jan x

Tuesday Evening Naptime

It's so exhausting chasing moths and catching butterflies all day, isn't it?
 

Nice Weather For Ducks.

 Yesterday's photo for the 365 days project.

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Sunny Sunday Sky

About three hours into my walk today, I really started to feel the challenge. My legs, feet and ankles were crying out to me to stop and not start again. So I took a ten minute break and lay back on the beach, looking up at the sky (with sunglasses on of course).

It was so tempting just to stay there and fall asleep! The sun was so hot and it was so peaceful.

Maybe summer has finally arrived here, just in time for the last days of August.
Fingers and toes crossed everyone.

New Beginnings

New beginnings are always possible.

 Day 100 of the 365 project: 21/8/10

Stay

The streets were screaming this message at me on Wednesday afternoon, as I returned to my car.

Of course it may have been my own desire to stay in this moment, overflowing onto the pavements, that I could hear.

Whatever it was, these grey streets and dilapidated buildings are pulling at my heart.

Whatever happens, I'll just skip along the steps and enjoy the August sunshine while it lasts.

Strawberry Love

So tired tonight that I hadn't taken a photo for either August Break or 365 project until about an hour ago.

When, from under my dressing gown on the sofa, I mumbled some words to that effect, Mr Greenfingers said "Come and see the strawberries growing in the greenhouse."

I am so grateful for my life right now, for all of the small things that perhaps I didn't always appreciate in quite the same way that I do these days.

Moving into the body.

"Most blocked creatives are cerebral beings. we think of all the things we want to do but can't. Early in recovery , we next think of all the things we want to do but don't. In order to effect a real recovery, one that lasts, we need to move out of the head and into a body of work. To do this we must first of all move into the body."    Julia Cameron - The Artist's Way.

Spotted in the quiet.

I love this - Unravelling made me think about reflections and how much they can teach me.
Today my reflection is so beautiful and joyful,  I love it!

Today I discovered a new place - and i love it!

The road behind.

I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd...

Shelter in a Storm

  

Thunder
Don't go under the sheets

Lightening

Under a tree

In the rain and snow

I'll be your fire inside

Come running to me

When things get out of hand

Running to me

When it's more than you can stand

I said I'm strong, straight

Willing

To be a

Shelter

In a storm

Your willow oh willow

When the sun is out 

 Joan Armatrading

This little fellow was also aware that the storm was coming but I managed to get quite close before the thunder startled us both.

Taken from my car window, just after the rain started.

Flower Power

According to Wikipedia: "The Aztecs gathered and cultivated the dahlia
for food, ceremonies, as well as decorative purposes,
and the long woody stem of one variety was used for small pipes."

Really interesting article also here The Dahlia: Flower of August .

Summer Evening Sky

Day 9 The August Break

Wow is it August 9th already? Where is the summer going? Or should I say where is the summer?

For years before my gardening man and I got together, I used to grow tomatoes. Now I leave it to him.

But when I get time I think I'll join him out there. Hang on a minute maybe that needs to read "I'll make time to join him out there."

How To Live The Simple Life.

Image from the BBC Website

I watched this TV programme a few months ago, on the BBC, where Peter Owen Jones tried to follow the teachings of St.Francis of Asissi and live without money. This was prompted he said, by the fact that he felt caught up in the consumerism of Western Society, a victim of this way of living, out of touch with nature and with other human beings.

I was facinated by his experiment and so too yearn sometimes, to live my life in a very different way. Peter says that, human beings have broken away from the law of love that everything is created with love and is part of one family.

He pleads with us to give up being addicted to becoming strong, to status and asks us instead to make ourselves weak and vulnerable, as this is how we will connect with others. I cried with him when complete strangers gave him food, after he had waited outside shops hungry and begging. He exchanged work for food, a community based on reciprocity. He asks us to give much more in our lives than we do. I was struck by the sense of community that was evident in the village where he has his home.

I have decided that when I come back from China, I am going to put my energies into the community here at home, in some way. I have another small project that I was mulling over yesterday but was rather miffed that when I put it out there, my other half said that it was probably another one of my mad ideas that would fall by the wayside! Cheek!

Anyway, back to living the simple life, I have been a fan of Zen Habits for some time but have never really been able to take control at home due to living with others who like lots of stuff! Ok maybe it's not just them, I'll admit I do like my stuff too! Oh the arguments(never serious) we have had about my throwing out some old item of clothing, that my beloved is sentimentally attached to! Or about the stuff we never look at or use that is gathering dust in the attic! I think it's time to start some serious clearing out!

Today there was a breakthrough of sorts as I was clearing out the wardrobe and drawers in our bedroom. I was given permission to disgard several worn and tatty looking items of clothing that belong to him! Gosh it feels so good to have space again! I got rid of much of my clothing also and have a big bag ready for collection for the charity shop on Tuesday.

It's old news on the internet but I'd quite like to see if I could do what Everett Broge has been doing, namely the challenge of living with only 75 things. We shall see! It would be interesting just to count all my stuff (or maybe not interesting but more likely exhausting!) Apparently, and luckily for me, the challenge does not include books in your 75 items, phew! I probably have more than 100 old photographs which I guess is a bit of a problem to start off with!

Peter Owen Jones reminds us that human beings are no more important than other creatures with whom we share the earth. Thankfully, walking is bringing me back in touch with all of the abundance, the beauty of our world and the creatures we share it with. Playing with my camera and taking part in projects such as the August Break, is giving me a chance to play and be creative again! That all feels so much more satisfying than going shopping ever did!

A walk with two Mums.

Someone else came along on my walk this week. I was scheduled for a four hour walk (as per week 9) and these folks were keen to join me. I made sure they knew I meant business and maybe secretly hoped they'd back out as I was worried that they would not be able to complete such a walk and that I would have to cut short my precious training!

Once we began, I realised that I was right, it would be too much to expect them to go at my pace. Following the teaching on the Well-Being card I've had in mind this week, I knew that to slow everything down, to let go and to think about other people would be more of value to us all. I decided to stop stressing about getting fit enough for the trek and just try to enjoy the moments I spent with my fellow walkers.

It was hard not to fret about missing my four hour target and about not walking fast enough. It felt strange not to be walking in silence just with my thoughts.

My companions, one in particular, could not walk so fast and found uphill walking rather too much of a challenge. I just had to let it go, I relaxed and enjoyed their company. We took some photos on the way, so today's August Break not only has a bit of wordage but also more than one photo!

It was like having two Mums with me. Lovely!

Friday's August Break

The message on the back of the card that has been speaking to me this week (or maybe this life?), reads:

"What's the big hurry? You're not ever going to get it done, so what are you racing toward?
Every single activity that you're involved in is for one purpose only, and that is to give you a moment of joy. That's why it all exists.
Lighten up. Laugh more. Appreciate more. All is well."

Well Being Cards created by Abraham and Esther Hicks.
http://www.abraham-hickslawofattraction.com/lawofattractionstore/product/CRD-WB.html

New Discoveries!

Kitchen Fun!

August Break Day 4: Baking Parsnip and Maple Syrup Cake.

It's very unusual for me to bake these days but I really enjoyed some kitchen fun and creativity this evening!

Right now it's just a bit late for cake, more like bedtime really, but hey we just have to sample it don't you think?

A Moment

 August Break Number Three.

So glad I took the time today to do the next right thing but so sad about the choices we make in life in our society.

A few simple moments was all it took to make things feel better.

Wait for me! Better late than never for the August Break!

Susannah Conway has dreamed up yet another fantastic idea for a community of bloggers and photographers. This time to gather together and celebrate the summer break through the visual. Sounds like a very good way to enjoy August and to take a break from the effort of composing a weekly blog post.

I am very keen that this blog does not become all about grief and bereavement, and it seems to have taken that direction. Sorrow never seems to be far from the surface with me and one of the things I am working on is to find my joy more often.

I want to write about the grieving process and also to remember my mother, but this blog is also about celebrating life and the things that bring me joy. Taking photographs is something that feels joyful. Just for fun of course! I want to join in the August Break! Meee tooo!

I failed to post a photograph yesterday due to being a latecomer and not jumping straight in without taking a good long think about how deep it all looked! So here is one that I took for the Unravelling 365 days flickr group yesterday to start me off.

The veg are all home grown by my OH and were greatly enjoyed with our Sunday dinner. Lovely!

Next a selection of today's photos taken on the way home this evening when the sun was still shining a little! Now don't laugh at what I am about to post after my comment above about needing to lighten the blog up a little! A grave error maybe but pretty though don't you think?