April Link Love #1

Click me

If you have been reading my blog for a while, and haven't gotten bored with my whingeing so are still reading, you might have noticed that I love to link in my posts. As I have been a bit busy to blog lately and am wanting to kickstart my blogging habit again, I thought I'd participate in DaisyYellowSquare's April link love. It seems as if it will be easy for me to fit in as all it requires is for me to post once a week in April and link to five other interesting or gorgeous places on the internet. My links might be a little wider than art and craft subjects, however I really like the idea of sharing the love and showing appreciation, so here goes for the first week's set of links: 

1. Lori at What Remains Now is inspiring me with her Artist's Dates(thank you too Julia Cameron) just lately. I have a few things on my list now Lori and will be taking my first date for a long time this week. I just love the art wall too. 

2. Diary of A Benefit Scrounger  Sue managed to remind us to laugh at our enemies in this horrible week of cuts and bad news. 

3. Lee's  artwork and blog caught my attention over a year ago. She was swapping hand made Christmas cards and I participated in the swap. What amazes me about Lee is the amount and variety of art she creates and shares information about on her blog. Boundless creativity. Recently I have been enjoying her faces project. 

4. Stargardener's post this week set me off crying and helped me feel stronger again after, as she puts it, "a return to the pack" for a while. I am reassured to read that she feels this precedes new growth. I am ready for another spurt.

5. Link number five can be found under Tammy's button above. Hope you will join us with some links to follow and add to her list of link love folks on her blog.

 

 

A-Z of Joy - A is for Art and A is for Action

Art brings me joy.

Artists, their stories and passion bring me joy.

By the way I am thinking mainly about the visual arts today. Other forms of art will appear later.

Looking at art. Talking about art. Reading about art. Debating with someone else about art. Finding out about the Artist. Trying to get inside the artist's intent.

Action  also brings me joy.

I found this quote yesterday on this blogfull of art and love:  

"For love is action.  It is not saying or wishing or hoping or longing.

And it is in the details." - Terrance Keenan

These children seem to have a clear understanding that love is action! Simples.

I first became interested in art because of my father, who as a young man, had loved to draw. At school I knew a girl who wanted to become an artist, Maxine. We had started drawing together when we were very young, and we both had a talent. By eleven Maxine was clearly committed to living her life as an artist. I sometimes wonder what happened to her, and if she is still creating; or if like me, sadly, she put down her pencil to make way for the "serious work" of being an adult. At 13 children are still asked to choose their GCSE exam subjects, and sadly art is often dropped at this stage(though maybe less so these days I hope). Currently the curriculum at primary school stage is under review, and art is in danger of being seen as one of the non-essentials. Luckily in our education system there are committed teachers taking action to ensure that art remains at the heart of our curriculum in the UK.
 
My very first visit to an art gallery, happened when I was a teenager visiting London for a job interview. The National Gallery in Trafalgar Square was probably the first art gallery I visited. If I had time whilst passing through London, I would pop over there and soak up the atmosphere of the gallery, before rushing off to catch my train. Since then I studied a little about Art History as a young adult, and then visited other galleries as part of my studies and with new friends. Now I still enjoy visiting galleries and finding out about the lives of the artists, and the intention or inspiration behind their work. I love the mystery of the artist's drive to create. I love visiting the wealth of artist bloggers who are out there creating. There is such treasure out there! Recently I have started to dabble and experiment with my own creativity again, inspired by many other creative bloggers, and by The Artist's Way.

So much joy, so much love!

An "Artist's Date" with Paint.

Today I indulged in a little painting with the acrylic paints and children's palate I bought myself last weekend. It was a good day to do so, as today would have been my Dad's 81st birthday, and he used to paint as a young man and boy.

This is a painting he did when he was aged 16 or thereabouts, I think he said he copied it from an original.

He didn't do much painting as he grew up, in fact I can't remember him ever painting or drawing at all. He always encouraged me with art as a child, but I too stopped as I grew up, only really being creative as part of my work as a teacher.

Since leaving teaching a few years ago, I rarely get the chance to do anything creative and I miss it. So today I played a bit with the paints and some pebbles from the beach. I thought I would paint each pebble with one of the four images from the "Pebble for my Pocket" meditation  I blogged about last week.

Beautiful shapes.



New brushes and a clean palate.

Taking care not to wash my brushes in the tea.

Mixing just the right shade.

Wondering how it will go.

Satisfying.

Experimenting.

What fun!

Finished.

Mountains are going to be tricky.

Loving the colours.

Finished.

A lake and reflections were a little bit tricky!

It's hard to shut out the reality of the outside world, however a little time today spent concentrating on tiny details, colours and shapes; on mixing paints with the tip of a tiny paintbrush; and on beautiful photographs taken by others, really managed to take it all away for a while.

The fourth pebble was "Space" and by then I'd lost my patience! May have another go at that one!

Last August Break (Okay I know it's September already!)

It's the end of summer and the Trek is only about five weeks away.

Last weekend I went out walking on two days as per the training schedule. The first day was painful let me tell you! All of my joints, bones and muscles were aching and creaking. It hurt to move. This wasn't helped by a march along a roadside full of long grass, where I had to do high steps and lift my knees up in a dressage-like manner! While whincing along, I told myself that these high steps would help once I get to China and am faced with all those thousands of steps to climb! Positive thinking! That's the spirit!

Anyway, the following day I was dreading my second walk, anticipating the pain and the stiffness from yesterday but a little worse perhaps. This dread was also acompanied by some resentment for the all too short and precious time I am devoting outside worktime to walking.

Those of you who are used to walking regularly will probably be unsurprised by my discovery once I got up and out, that I felt fantastic!

I wanted to capture the feeling I had whilst moving along. All resentment and panic about lost time disappeared, and physically the walking felt easy. My limbs felt fluid and confident, and there was some speed gererated, as the trepidation I had felt about the pain on putting my foot down with each step, melted away!

So I recorded my movement and what I could see as I walked along, on my new phone, not thinking of doing anything with it. When I got back I started playing around with it and made this little movie! It's my first time making a movie so be gentle! It feels very childlike. Maybe I could call it my Artist's Date for this week, part of nurturing my creativity? It's taken me a week to find the courage to post it or indeed to return to playing around with it in Movie Maker. That old familiar voice is telling me I should be working and this is a waste of my time, but I'm not listening. The August Break needed something different and joyful to mark it's ending.

Another August Day Ending!

August seems to be flying by and as for the break aspect, well I think that my break will come in another month or two. The years keep on coming and going too don't they? These photos were taken on my son's birthday last Wednesday. As we stood and gazed at the beautiful sky together, taking photographs and pausing for a moment, I felt that all too familiar feeling creeping over me. You know the one, the one that longs for the past just a teensy bit and the one that tinges the edges of happiness with just a hint of sadness. It's the one that makes you cry at weddings too, or at the happy endings in a film. You know the one!

I wrote in my morning pages today, about finally feeling that I am starting to live more in the present moment. So the August days flying by(and the years), are not causing me any anguish or resentment really. Life is fuller than it was, I am making it so, and the fear is lessened. Time is short, so these days I fill it up with good things, rather than bemoaning this fact. I am acknowledging the darkness and the light. I am practicing acceptance. I am a beginner in this please note, so it takes practice. I think it always will.

Julia Cameron in "The Artist's Way" writes:

It is the inner commitment to be true to ourselves and follow our dreams that triggers the support of the universe. While we are ambivalent the universe will seem to us also to be ambivalent and erratic. The flow through our lives will be characterized by spurts of abundance and long spells of drought, when our supply dwindles to a mere trickle.

If we look back at the times when the world seemed to be a capricious and untrustworthy place, we will see that we were ourselves ambivalent and conflicted in our goals and behaviours. Once we trigger an internal yes by affirming our truest goals and desires, the universe mirrors that yes and expands it.

There is a path for each of us. When we are on our right path, we have a surefootedness. We know the next right action - although not necessarily what is just around the bend. By trusting, we learn to trust.

Moving into the body.

"Most blocked creatives are cerebral beings. we think of all the things we want to do but can't. Early in recovery , we next think of all the things we want to do but don't. In order to effect a real recovery, one that lasts, we need to move out of the head and into a body of work. To do this we must first of all move into the body."    Julia Cameron - The Artist's Way.

Spotted in the quiet.

I love this - Unravelling made me think about reflections and how much they can teach me.
Today my reflection is so beautiful and joyful,  I love it!

Today I discovered a new place - and i love it!

The road behind.

I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd...

Boot Talk

I'm listening to Nancy Sinatra singing about boots, as I sit here typing this morning. The fighting beat is helping me gear up for getting out and about over the weekend, to do some serious walking! Great motivating music! I'm just visualising myself listening to this on my ipod while walking and then breaking into a dance up the hill during the instrumental. I like the way she asks the boots if they are ready, so i guess I'll also be talking to my boots as well as dancing up the hills.

I've yet to purchase walking boots, but this action must occur quite soon if i am to "break them in", as advised, before the trek in October. There are a couple of cute pinky ones on Amazon that look good but I've absolutely no idea what I should be looking for in a boot. I read the reviews which all seem to be positive. Whilst it is great to have such choice, I feel that i must consult friends and family who walk and have walking wisdom. This particular pair has a review which stresses how wide the reviewer's feet are and how great these boots are for such wide feet. As my feet are wide these seem a good option, though they do seem rather pricey.


So I'm really gearing up now for this trek. The flights are booked and I'm starting to make contact with others who are going too. I've also started some low level walking over the past two weeks, again as advised by the company which organises the trek. They've sent me an example training programme to follow, which they recommend we start 10 - 14 weeks before the "challenge". I'm now coming to the end of my second week of training and, though I say it myself, am doing splendidly! It's also about 20 weeks until we fly so I'm giving myself a bit of a head start.


These seagulls also think I'm doing splendidly too it seems. Is it me or do they look as if they are approving and nodding as i walk by?

I'm still in the first four weeks of training right now, which comprises 2 x 30 minutes walk and 1 x 2 hour walk a week, plus stretches. Last week I exceeded this as I was on leave from work and this week I've done two 30 minute long walks and one hour long walk. I've still got a two hour walk to do and that will happen today or tomorrow.

For me the challenge has already started! How to stay focused on what I want and need to do whilst working long hours in a stressful job?

At risk of sounding gushy about my two favourite resources, the Unravelling and The Artist's Way, these are currently the lynch pins in my efforts to stay focused. They have helped me make a commitment to myself like never before. Nurturing the self-awareness and creativity that has begun to re-awaken, is now a priority for me. At long last I am taking control of my choices and needs, instead of these being swept away by other demands, while I sleepwalk through life. An example of this is that this is not the first time I've been contemplating buying walking boots, getting fit, getting out, but this time it feels quite different!

In addition I am nolonger trying to fill myself up in ways which are damaging and am determined to nurture and be compassionate towards myself. I am taking responsibility for staying centred and aware of my thoughts, especially that voice of doom and doubt which we will not give "air time" to in this post. Simply a message to that voice that the day "these boots are gonna walk all over you" has arrived and is here to stay!

"Are you ready boots? Start walking!"

The First Doubt

I'm currently reading "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. In chapter three she writes:

Taking in the first doubt is like picking up the first drink for an alcoholic.Once in our system the doubt will take on another doubt - and another.Doubting thoughts can be stopped, but it takes vigilance to do it.

The urge to have another shot at writing a blog has been brewing within me since I finished an online course a few weeks ago. The course is called "Unravelling" and was designed by the photographer Susannah Conway.

Yes the urge that was brewing was a fusion of inner elements long forgotten, that are now being nurtured and are starting to grow again, through taking part in "Unravelling" and through reading "The Artist's Way".

Now here it is this curious brew, ready to taste, warm and strong and mmmm.....but, hang on, what is that unpleasantness I can taste?

You were wondering what had happened to the doubt weren't you? Of course it seeps into everything we do in life, though we try so hard to prevent it from taking hold. It is like the weeds in my garden getting a stranglehold on the other plants and suffocating them. Like a poison in our tea.

So it was the doubt that has prevented me from starting to write another blog until now. It was the doubt that, just days after I had paid my registration fee for the China Trek I had thought such a good idea, that crept up on me and called me nasty names. "You fool," it snarled at me, "What were you thinking of?" "How are you going to raise money all by yourself!" "No-one will help you!" "You haven't enough time!" "Make a video? Ha, yeah right!" "It's such a long flight!" "You are so unfit!" In so many other areas of life, the first doubt is an easy drink to take, and I've been taking it for too long!

So hurrah once again to my two nurturers Susannah and Julia! Their words and ideas have taught me to reconnect with both my mother and the child that was me. Not just to reconnect with myself, but to nurture, and allow myself to be creative and flawed and extraordinary! I am learning to pour the doubt away, or to leave it aside and let it go cold whilst I am busy living my life!

Through the Unravelling course I have felt for the first time like a grown up, rather than make-believing I am a grown up which is a very, very different thing indeed.

So my blog, my lovely blog, will serve as a place to come to be creative and flawed and sometimes extraordinary! A place to celebrate my mother's life and to have her watch over me, because I have missed her and want her in my life again. A place to perhaps also serve a useful place for others who may also be struggling to stay awake.