Returning from the land of busy - a check in.....

 Hello. I'm here this morning, sending love out into blogland; taking the opportunity at this inbetween time after Christmas and before the New Year begins. 

Previous year up to this one, I would want to stay in the darkness...with the artificial and candle light creating a cocoon; and the illusion that time is halted for a little while. 

Only a few walks on hillsides or beside the ocean would tempt me outside. 

I've always reluctant to go back out into the real world and life as it usually is.... which for me was always work and busy busy busy. 

These few days are almost like that time in the morning when you are still in bed but awake, and know you can snuggle back down for a few more minutes. 

This year I still feel that sense of time standing still, however the big change is that I am not working at the moment ..... so no return to that busy busy work-life without balance. A new way of living lies ahead of me in 2023... I will be working again and I cannot deny that it is going to be a challenge not to return to my old ways. However I am determined not to return fully to the "land of busy" and to make some time for self-care, creativity and reflection. 

I will turn 60 years young in February and my healthy adult self is in the driving seat more often than not.... this journey continues in a more balanced way and with space and time for thriving. 

I am curious and grateful to experience this next chapter.

Sending love to you dear bog friends for a peaceful and joyful 2023 - signing off now. xx

August 2022 - Whinlatter Forest

August again.... hello summer heatwave that feels good and yet not!

 Oh my. Here I am again back on the page and writing that "I have missed being here and where did the time just go?"

This seems to be a theme here. 

It's very hot here today and I am glad for the sunshine, bitter sweet though it feels as it reminds us about climate change; drought and water shortage warnings; water company's making profit; soaring energy costs and thoughts of the winter ahead. Lately our world's have been rocked haven't they? We continue to reassess our relationship with nature both on a personal level, in our wider society and globally. 

In this moment right now as I sit here on my day off from work, the sunshine feels good on my skin. It's much hotter than we are used to here, and we look to take care of the more vulnerable in the world in this extreme heat. Once again we are reminded of the fragility of life here on our planet. 

I have been sitting here in what I call my "morning chair",  drinking tea and having a slow start to the day. Just a little earlier I was writing in my journal and listening to this song "Apart Together" by Tim Minchin. 

KCRW

On the way to a show

Heard the story of an elderly couple

Found dead in their mobile home

They'd been there a month they say

Seemed to be no decay

I guess the upside of freezing to death

Is that you tend to stay that way

Locked in each other's arms

Eyes closed and faces calm

They may have lain there 'til spring

If it weren't for the ping of their smoke alarm

God sure works in mysterious ways

Died of power bills left unpaid

Found by a nеighbour who heard the ping

Dropped around offering Double A's

I think this could last forever

Girl, let's fall apart together

I can handle the entropy

If you promise to stay with me

I give you my heart knowing things fall apart

Praying you will decay with me

Locked in each other's arms

Eyes closed and faces calm

In the morning a new life will dawn

So maybe don't set the alarm

Baby, I think this could last forever

Girl, let's fall apart together

Girl, let's fall apart together

As I listened to the lyrics and melody, it stuck me how many years I have sat in my morning chair pondering the day and my life, and making plans. 

Here I am still. 

I was reminded that this will end one day. Funny how we forget this. Necessary that we forget this and yet don't forget this. A reminder to count my blessings, to enjoy the moment and to share gratitude and wonder for this time we have, this life we have. 

I thought I would come here and write on time passing and plans undone... and on how I am drawn to tragic stories and the bittersweet. On how I still wander... and that's ok. 

Hoping that life is good with you all, lovely bloggers, and that life is kind. 

Thank you for days like these.

 I've had a weekend away on a retreat, but working as part of the team that runs it. In exchange for my labour I got to enjoy the workshops, meet likeminded people and camp in the beautiful woodland. It was a lovely weekend and I have begun to put pieces together and to feel my way into the next stage on my life journey. 

I am bursting with good, healing energy and gratitude right now. 

Thank you for days like these. 

Easter Weekend at home - it's April time again - April Love time.

 I'm stuck at home with COVID at the moment. Luckily I have not been too unwell, so have really enjoyed having some down time from work and social commitments.

 It is really so true when they say that sometimes the universe will stop you in your tracks if you do not listen to what is whispering to you. I have been so very busy at work since January, and before too. I have been really feeling stressed and exhausted and overwhelmed at work. I have not been myself for a couple of months now. 

I kept telling myself, just another week and get this and that sorted out, then I can rest. It seemed endless but I actually did get the most important things sorted out before I started to get ill with COVID. I would have just continued if I had not been ill. Instead I have been taking a break for the last week. On good days I have been busy cleaning the house or gardening, but mostly just resting and contemplating life which is very much needed.

I'd started enjoying Susannah Conway's April Love photo challenge already. I do love playing along and so here are some of the first few week's photos. It always helps me pause and reflect on how privileged I am in life. Despite my feelings of shame sometimes, and this stuckness I always feel with my work-life-balance, I do appreciate where I find myself in life and all that I have experienced on my journey. 

Day 1 - Blue 

Day 2 - Yellow

Day 3 - Flowers

Day 7 - Pattern

Day 7 - Pattern

Day 8 - Inspiring Words 

Day 8 - Inspiring Words

Day 8 - Inspiring Words

Day 8 - Inspiring Words

Day 8 - Inspiring Words 

I hope that you are having a lovely restful Easter time wherever you are, and that you remain in good health. My thoughts are never far away from those in the world who are struggling with war or poverty and sickness so it was really helpful to listen to this Tara Brach meditation reminding me that my small actions each day to Choose to Love will have an impact in the world. Like a butterflies small wings. 

Sing a long a Saturday - We deserve to dream

                                                     'Believe in the beauty of your dreams." 

Sing a long a Saturday - Solidarity with Ukraine

 

Singalong a Saturday - The Unthanks