International Women's Day, Mother's Day and Numbers.

 

Today I notice on Facebook an event was happening to mark International Women's Day , which falls on Wednesday this year. Sadly I think that this day often gets overlooked and events are not often publicised widely. As I don't work in a school or community centre I wonder if the event is given enough attention. Of course my view is that women's history and equality issues that continue for women currently should be on the curriculum in schools and need to be worked on locally with ordinary women and men - in workplaces, theatres, art galleries and community centres. It takes passion and dedication to find ways to bring these matters into people's consciousness without creating barriers. Often this is seem as additional to community and educational work, unless you are a worker specifically working with women or girls. 

The UN website states:

"Increasingly, International Women’s Day is a time to reflect on progress made, to call for change and to celebrate acts of courage and determination by ordinary women who have played an extraordinary role in the history of their countries and communities."

 I therefore want to flag the day up today and to celebrate ordinary women all over the world who are working for change or who are just surviving in the life they have been born into.

Source for picture rabble.ca

My posts often seem to link lots of ideas and themes in one. I have always been someone who likes to see connections and make connections where maybe there were none. Connections that are meaningful to me I suppose, but also that others might find useful or interesting. Maybe it's hard for others to see my leaps but hopefully someone else out there understands or enjoys. Logging these journeys of learning, is also helpful to me, to see where my interest takes me and to maybe explore my own mind and where it likes to wander (albeit often aimlessly).

It's Mother's Day tomorrow here in the UK and I've written before about my birth Mother - a bit about her life and how I never really knew much about her. She was a working Mother, left to look after the children on her own for a time when my Father was away, and she continued to work and care for us children when he came back. Times were not always easy during her marriage and she was a victim of Domestic Abuse.

This Mother's Day I'm going to be making a donation to Refuge there are some stark numbers to be found there, if you follow this link and can bear to read. One of the most shocking statistic is this one - "2 women are killed every week in England and Wales by a current or former partner (Office of National Statistics, 2015) – 1 woman killed every 3 days."

I often think about her life and how it went...... after she met my Father and became a wife and a mother. In photographs she always shone out....a bright light. That's my Mother on the left in the photograph with her sisters and brother. She just stands out somehow and my Uncle, who was married to the sister in the middle, told me once that my Mother did stand out....she was wild, friendly and fearless....she had spirit.

 

It's 45 years today that my Mother died.

Having counted up the years this morning, it appears to be 45 years to the day - although I cannot be sure as my memory has played tricks on me before and often there was no-one I could ask.

However long it has been......It feels like yesterday...and at the same time like a very long time indeed.

I try not to be defined by her death or by the lack I have often felt during my adulthood (maybe because I wasn't "allowed" to feel this lack in my childhood).

Still it rests heavy on my shoulders sometimes.

I'd love to go back into this photograph, and play on the beach with my Mother and her siblings....get to know her.

45 years after her death I still miss her and the relationship we might have had. Her loss and how I and others have dealt with this, has affected my life in so many different ways. I have gained so much I know and am grateful for much that is in my life because of this event.

But today I just feel the lack and the empty space.

Source of picture nytimes.com

I've been watching this amazing TV drama, "One Child" which is about a women who was adopted from China by an Anglo-American couple, as a result of China's one child policy. 

It is about so much more than that however, mainly about corruption and human rights abuses in China....but woven throughout the main plot are stories of loss and women's lives. 

The drama ends very sadly and the filming was very powerful and emotionally, bringing home the sense of the disposable nature of ordinary people's lives to the corrupt regime and officials in China. 

41 years after the first International Women's Day, here are Amnesty's six reasons why we still need it and ways you can help.

Evening walks to keep me fit and to keep me sane! Taking action. Seeing things differently.

I've been doing very well this week, on the walking front. Nowhere exciting, just one foot in front of the other, and some reconnecting with the ground, the wind, birdsong, plant-life and light. These are essentials for self-care, especially at times when it hurts to feel. These are gentle, soothing strokes that keep the heart soft, and slows down any hardening that might be going on. The evening sun is still warm on my skin. The situation here is less frightening now, but the anger and sadness about what is happening are now taking over. The fear lingers, just in case the worst isn't over yet.

The news brings us stories about children in Syria being murdered. It is difficult not to allow feelings of hopelessness, bitterness and anger to overwhelm me.

I am trying to see things differently. I am trying to see the beauty and feel joy in being alive. I am trying to appreciate these, to feel the connection and the mystery of the Universe. My camera sometimes helps me to do this. Taking action also helps doesn't it?

What   can  we do to help the people of Syria?

Write for Rights

Letters from Amnesty International on Vimeo.
On 10 December 1948, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR), the first global enunciation of human rights was adopted by the United Nations. Human Rights Day  has been marked each 10th December since 1950. In 2011 the theme of Human Rights Day is the honouring of all human rights defenders and a call for individuals to get involved in the global human rights movement.

11.11.11

What is the significance of today? The ones line up like soldiers. We think about soldiers.

Every year I remember. We all remember. The terrible loss of life.

We think about soldiers. We think about children. We think about loss and pain and waste. We wonder if we will ever break free of this cycle of war and hated and fear. Me who has never been through war and cannot imagine what it is like to be in such fear, to have lost my family under such circumstances, to be a child with a gun in my hand, to be a man/woman with a gun in my hand. To lose a son or daughter to war. To witness all of this.

Some people believe that today is a day to re-boot our lives. If only today we can re-boot and refresh on a global scale. No more war. End of. Simple. We (our country) will no longer put money into war. As an individual I will stand up against the industry that is war.

Here are some ways.......and some thoughts.....

Peace Pledge Union

Afghanistan Winter Appeal

Hay Quaker's thoughts

Hay Quaker - How could you be my enemy?

Find out more about the irresponsible global arms trade

Remembering all those who died. In all wars.

Council spending £20m to evict families from their homes?

My thoughts overnight were with the Traveller community at Dale Farm in Basildon, who are facing eviction starting this morning. I have heard some arguments in favour of the eviction over the past few weeks, mainly about..."minority groups not following the planning laws like what the rest of us have to" and similar complaining voices who try to justify this with statements against the Traveller's lifestyle. You know those voices right?

Frankly I am appalled at these arguments, and in addition am disgusted and shocked that the government and Basildon Council are set to spend £20m on forcibly evicting people from their homes. Did I just write that? Did I just read that? I still cannot believe it!

No matter the arguments given about this and that issue with Traveller families, or the green belt argument(which in this case seems a manipulation of the truth) or the planning permission argument. There is no justification for this eviction. How can there be?

I would like to quote Roger Ratcliffe from this week's Big Issue In The North as I am unable to find the words to balance what might seem to some to be a very one-sided post by me today:

There is a huge piece of irony here. A sizeable residential community already established in a green belt area is about to be cleared and demolished because of a strict application of planning laws by Conservative controlled Basildon Council, while our Conservative dominated coalition government is preparing to relax those laws in order to encourage more house provision in England's green belts.

Leaving aside whether the question of whether this is really motivated by anti-traveller prejudices, if it goes ahead the eviction will be extremely messy and dominate TV news for days, and the net result will be the creation of a large number of homeless families which , as it happens Basildon Council has a duty to rehouse. They do not as yet have a clue how they are going to solve the big humanitarian crisis they are about to create. 

The government is similarly clueless. It could solve the problem of travellers' housing once and for all. Just one square mile of land would be enough to accommodate all of the UK's gypsy and traveller community according to a report by the Equality and Human Rights Commission. The government however, has slashed £30m from the amount it uses to fund new sites.  

It is clueless, too, over its proposed planning laws relaxation. This may well kick start a house building programme, but the overwhelming need for housing is not out in the countryside but for affordable accommodation in urban areas close to where people have the best chance of finding a job.

La Mariposa: Send a butterfly to Nicaragua

The text below is taken from Amnesty International's Take Action Pages.

"The butterfly (la mariposa) for us is a symbol of the desire to realise our dreams, spread our wings... fighting with the strength of our rights." 

Martha Munguiá, Nicaraguan Alliance of Women's Centres

On 28 September 2011 women's organisations and Nicaraguan men, women and children will be marching to demand the repeal of the country's total abortion ban and an end to widespread violence against women and girls.

Two-thirds of reported rapes in Nicaragua are against girls and young women under the age of 17.

Many girls are trapped in abusive situations with no way out. The stigma associated with the crime means it is often the survivor - not the abuser - who is blamed. For girls who speak out, the struggle for justice can be traumatic. Failures and lack of resources in the justice system often mean cases collapse and attackers walk free.

Some young survivors face extra trauma if they become pregnant because of the rape. For these women and girls the idea of giving birth may be unbearable as well as dangerous to their health the younger they are.  

But in Nicaragua they have no choice. Since 2008, the law has made all forms of abortion in all circumstances a crime, even where the health and life of the woman is in danger or where she is the victim of rape or incest.

There is little or no help from the government, which has failed to prevent sexual abuse, to provide care to survivors or to guarantee they receive justice and reparation. Young rape survivors need psychological, medical and legal support and help to rebuild their lives.

Amnesty International are asking us to show our support and solidarity for the girls and women of Nicaragua by creating a butterfly of hope and posting a message in time for the march in September. You can also send an email to the president of Nicaragua asking him to develop a national plan to tackle this problem as a matter of urgency.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring. It doesn't seem enough does it? However I am sure that the support of people like us, so far away, will help the people of Nicaragua stay strong in the struggle for the protection of and compassion for, their women and girls.

Pressure on the Ugandan Government back in May helped prevent a bill being passed that would have included the death penalty for some homosexual acts. So though some people here might question the effectiveness of these small actions we can take while sitting at home on our computers, we have already seen how together we can make a difference.

I'm pinching this quote below that I spotted today over at this blog , where the courage and commitment to work for what is just and compassionate is very evident.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, concerned citizens can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has."

– Margaret Mead

A Story Of Love

I'm a bit late posting this. So busy gazing at my navel these days.

May 17th was IDAHO( International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia ), as I expected there was a bit of a news blackout here in the UK. Unless you are involved in some way through your work or your family , the day tends to go by unnoticed. For LGBT people, their families and friends, supporters and campaigners for human rights, it isn't just about this one day of course. So here is my contribution.

Though this post is entitled "A Story of Love", I have to start with pointing out some of the hate. So much of it everywhere. So much fear! Fear and hate of what? Simply of other human beings, who generally just want to love and to be able to get on with their lives. Lives that are about so much more than sex. Full lives. Meaningful lives. Lives that contribute to making the world a better place. Lives just like heterosexuals have.

Peter Tatchell had an article in the Guardian Newspaper, on 17th May, about the support that exists from governments around the world, towards achieving the universal decriminalisation of homosexuality and equal human rights for LGBT people. Sadly he points out that this is not the case for the Commonwealth and most Commonwealth countries. He writes:

"The Commonwealth is a bastion of global homophobia, often bucking the worldwide trend towards sexual orientation equality, with increased state-sanctioned threats and repression in Malawi, Uganda, Gambia, Malaysia, Cameroon and Nigeria. The 54 Commonwealth member states comprise one quarter of the UN membership and one third of all humanity. Of these Commonwealth countries, 46 still criminalise same-sex relations in all circumstances, with penalties including 25 years' jail in Trinidad and Tobago and 20 years plus flogging in Malaysia. Several countries stipulate life imprisonment: Sierra Leone, Pakistan, Uganda, Tanzania and Bangladesh. These 46 homophobic Commonwealth countries account for more than half of the 76 countries in the world that still have a total prohibition on homosexuality, Nearly all the Commonwealth's anti-gay laws are the poisonous legacy of British colonialism. They were originally imposed by the British government in the 19th century, during the period of colonial rule – and never repealed when the former colonies won their freedom. The post-independence leaders retained the homophobic mindset of their colonial masters. Today, many of their countrymen and women absurdly proclaim that the legal proscription of homosexuality is an authentic expression of indigenous national culture and tradition."

The story is frightening, as is the story of the homophobia that still exists here in the West. Homophobia that drives some of our youth to suicide. Homophobia that teaches others of our youth to hate and ridicule, and devalue other human beings.

There is another story. It is one of hope, and of love, and of courage.

Civil rights activists around the world are continually working to expose human rights abuses against LGBT people. They challenge governments and state authorities to fulfil their responsibility to protect LGBT people from such abuses.Amnesty International's LGBT Network Page highlights actions we can take to support such challenges and ensure the voice of protest and outrage is loud enough for notice to be taken.

Only last week the Ugandan Anti-homosexuality Bill was stalled by a massive global response to a petition circulated mainly through online social networks and organisations like Amnesty and Avaaz. Amnesty reports that, "The proposed Law included the introduction of the death penalty for 'aggravated homosexuality', punishment for those who do not report violations of the Bill's provisions within 24 hours, and the criminalisation of the 'promotion' of homosexuality." 

 There exists so much love, and there is so much work being done to help create a world where LGBT people do not have to live in fear of violence. A world where they can be true to themselves and where they are not excluded or ridiculed by the mainstream population. Where there is more understanding that they are whole people who are defined by so much more than their sexual orientation. So many people helping and shouting out. A reminder for all of us to help maintain this love story.

Use any of the links above to find out how you can work against homophobia.

Before I go, I thought I'd share two brilliant resources that can be used to help increase understanding.

First, this campaign from Canada to mark this year's IDAHO. Click on the picture and it will take you to the website which explains the theme for 2011 -  "Same Sex Couple A Story Of Love". I've also quoted a short description from the website below.

"All too often, people perceive being gay or lesbian in a narrow way in which sexual orientation is reduced to its simplest form - sex.

Just as for opposite-sex couples, same-sex couples form out of emotions and romantic feelings. Sexuality is certainly a part of a couple relationship, and it is often the sexual dimension that sparked the flame. However, a lasting couple relationship cannot be based on sexuality alone.

Same-sex couples, formed by either two women or two men, go through the same good and bad times that opposite-sex couples do."

I'm also loving the courage of this mainstream BBC 1 TV series, for the way it has dealt with many life issues faced by young people and their families, homosexuality being one of them. Young people today need as much education as possible in this much more complex world we live in. I feel that the series can help young people(who I would imagine are the majority of viewers), think about many different situations they might come across in life, and encourages them to discuss these and to explore their own and other people's feelings. 

This is the storyline about a young person discovering he is homosexual. It is a story of love and relationships, his relationship with his Dad and with his friends. It is about their acceptance and love. 

As the young lad tells them at the end, "I am still me."

Washed up or Plunging in?

I've been feeling a bit washed up and washed out this week. The world is in turmoil. The news is just terrible for so many people.

Much closer to home too, events are happening that are out of my control and will change my life.

Today I received messages from the universe which contained some much needed energy and hope.

The tide is fierce and unrelenting.

While out walking I saw a mother with her two children standing right on the edge of the sea wall. Three tiny figures. She was almost as small as they were and holding their hands tightly. She had dressed the children in those all-in-one waterproof suits before setting off, and right now they had their hoods up and tightly fastened around their chins.

Three figures holding on tight to each other as the sea crashed very close to them, their faces full of delight and wonder. I could hardly hear their screams of excitement above the roar of the tide.

Further down the coast, these birds were also making the most of the tide coming in. They looked incredibly beautiful flying in unison, just above the water. The tide washes up much of value.

I am lucky enough to still have some choices about how the coming challenges affect me and my family. Choices about my thoughts, if not about my feelings. Choices about taking action for others. The energy sent from the universe today, has led me back to this. Choices.

Washed up? Beachcombing? Plunging in? Working  with others? Turning the tide?

Community - reverb10 day 7

December 7th Prompt: Community.

Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010?

What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

(Author: Cali Harris)

Yes it's Day 14 of reverb10 and I'm all behind. It is the run up to Christmas after all and I am decorating the kitchen! I had put this prompt and some others to the back of my mind, telling myself, "I'll come back to these later. These will take some thinking upon. These will take me to dark places.These are too difficult!"

This time of year is particularly hard for people who don't feel they belong and who are not part of any kind of community. Somehow in our society, community is something that many of us have lost while gaining lots of other things we maybe don't need quite so much. A sense of belonging is such a basic need for human beings.

Anyway, this prompt came back to the forefront of my mind, on Sunday whilst crossing the road outside my house. I was carrying a dustpan and brush, my hair was all over the place. I was wearing slippers, a thin T-shirt and summer trousers. I must have looked like some wandering, insane creature, bending down and brushing in the middle of the road, while muttering to myself!

I was clearing up glass. Lots of slithers and tiny shattered pieces of green glass. Broken beer bottles in fact.
I had been cleaning my front door(not something I do very often let me add) when I had heard the sound of breaking glass, and again, and then again. I had ignored it at first until I become a bit worried and decided to look up the street a ways. I spied three little boys, quite unaware of me watching and having fun with some broken bottles that had been left on the pavement. As a car went past one of them hid the broken neck of a bottle behind his back. It made me smile to see him trying so hard to look innocent.

I hesitated before I called out to them. They had clocked me watching, just after hurling another bottle across the road towards a lamppost, and were now moving away, their hands still full of glass. I called out asking if they were bored. They agreed yes they were. I said I knew it was hard being bored but I was worried about someone getting hurt, blah blah! They didn't say anything but looked suitably sheepish and quietly carried on walking, all glass now put down. Maybe I should have asked them to help me clear it up, but adults are less confident these days of getting involved with children they don't know. These boys clearly live in my locality somewhere, but I don't know them or their families. There is little sense of community here. I'm ashamed to say I only know one or two of my neighbours. We are all out at work most days and our paths don't really cross at all.

So after again some hesitation, I stopped my cleaning and was off across the road to clear up the debris. I managed to get most of it up. While cleaning up I ranted to myself about the adults that had left the bottles there in the first place. Small boys will be children after all.

So to come back to the Community prompt and my year. Where have I discovered community this year?
I don't find community easy. I'm usually feeling like the weird one that doesn't quite fit in. I often find it hard to communicate. I see community all around, all the time, but I don't really belong. I'm on the outside, looking in at the window.

This year I discovered a community in "the back group", while treking the Great Wall in China. Such loving souls that filled me with joy and accepted me, weirdness, communication difficulties and all. There was still a barrier there, but these people came the closest to helping me learn how to break through than anyone has for a long time.

Online, I have discovered another very accepting group of folk, who like to take a photo everyday (365 days project). I'm not sure how much they would accept my oddness if they met me in real life, but I'm learning a lot about how to be part of a community from them.

So on Sunday, brushing up the glass, I recognised that the community I had discovered this year, was the one that had been here all along.

Myself and the world around me.

Whatever I am doing and wherever I am.

Even where I am not.

I have let fear and depression, stop me from being a part of it all too often.

This year I really started to take the steps to change this.

So next year I want to choose more often to be going inside. Less often looking through the window.

To do this, I have to be more willing to also open my own shutters, and to let the light shine out.

Christmas Cards and Messages of Hope

What a very exciting Advent Saturday morning it is! The Postie just arrived with the Christmas Cards I ordered last week. Now I can really start the preparations.

This year the cards I will send have come from Amnesty International's online shop and one pack I found in Oxfam. How lovely the designs are - there is such a beautiful one with white candles burning on it!

For the past two or three years I've been taking part in Amnesty's Greetings Card campaign. Some cards are sent to people imprisoned and some to the families of people missing. As it says on the website:

Every card matters. Your cards give strength and hope to their recipients, and send a message to police, prison staff and political authorities that the world is watching what they are doing.

 It is such an enjoyable time spent writing my own cards for people that I love, people who I don't see very often (I usually try to slip in a little note or longer letter) and new folk in my life. It's great to receive cards, letters or emails from them too, especially those far away.

When I think of those wrongly imprisoned, terrified and separated from their families, it is hard to imagine what it must be like to be a family member of someone missing or to live in a country where you can be imprisoned and tortured for expressing your beliefs. At this time of year especially, we value so much the closeness of our loved ones.

In Christmases past I used to have the tree up and candles burning before I put pen to card. Lately I've been a little less ready and cards have been written in last minute haste! So I'm off to schedule and plan my card writing now, Some cleaning will be on the to do list first however.