Sunday - Weekend Reflections

It's my first full week back blogging, and already I am feeling more connected to myself, the universe and to others. I am starting to feel more like my old self, but maybe without many of the thoughts and patterns that used to weigh me down. I am starting to feel more alive and as if this may be the start of a new energy and maybe even a new chapter in my life. Not too sure why or what this might be, but it feels very freeing. The old patterns and ways of being that were damaging and limiting for me do feel at last as if they are starting to shift. Let's hang onto that hope and optimism about the future I tell myself. 

Sunrise one September Morning

Over the past two years I seem to have been treading water, in limbo, hanging onto my comfort zone for dear life as the rug was pulled out from under me. My friend told me yesterday that I needed to step out of my comfort zone and that if I wanted change I needed some challenge. I reacted straight away to her words with "I have had nothing but challenge what do you mean? A little bit of comfort zone would be good for a while actually." My friend is wise, and challenged my stuck thinking by pointing out that sometimes our comfort zone is just the familiar, and we can stay stuck there if we want to, but our comfort zone is not always comfortable or healthy. She reminded me that challenges are always present in life. 

Steps up to Pendle Hill - Challenges

I thought to myself at the time that she does not understand how tired I am of challenge. I am challenged constantly in my job and my personal life in so many different ways and I am just exhausted by it. I do feel the stress I have been under for a long while had been toxic to my system. So I resist the thought of any more change or challenge.  A bit like this drama queen below when faced with these difficult lions, ha ha! 

"Daniel in The Lion's Den" by James Northcote at Howick Hall

A comfort zone is not just one overarching place for every part of your life, all of the time. You may be in a comfort zone at work, but stepping out and going through major change in your home life. You may be comfortable and happy in your physical health, but struggle with anxiety in social or work situations and so that feels like enough challenge for one life! It is good to reflect on this and ask yourself a few questions which is what I am doing today. 

I have an interview for a job and can't decide if I want a change in my work life or not. Is it better to stay in my comfort zone, unhealthy though I do think it is, or change to the unknown. It is always difficult as the expression goes you might be jumping "out of the frying pan and into the fire." 

Making flatbread last weekend

This change would involve a drastic change in finance, but may be less stressful and give me more time for me. I wonder if i would miss the aspect of my work that involves helping people in their lives, the psychology and the understand of others. I will mull it over further. Like my friend says I have nothing to lose by going to the interview have I? Blue sky thinking needed here I think. 

Today's lovely sky!

The sun is shining today, I might go out for a bike ride before meeting family for a birthday meal. We are still allowed to meet up in groups of six, and as a family we have been very careful during the lockdown and have followed the rules. Currently it feels as if this may be the last time for a while as we await the announcements from the government this coming week about further restrictions. 

I have had a good weekend so far, I met a friend for coffee, did my washing and tidied some of the ground floor of the house, walked for exercise, went to a support meeting online and am now heading off for a bike ride. I also blogged, watched two episodes of "Chernobyl" and messaged some family and friends to stay connected. 

Place to rest yesterday on my walk.

Weekends do seem to go nowhere and are over in the blink of an eye. It has been good to visit here and get my thoughts on the page. I am grateful for my privilege, to be born in the location I was at the time in history I was, to be able to spend time reflecting as I can. It is a real luxury and I appreciate it. I count my blessings every day. 

Sending love and blessings to you out there in blogland. I hope you have had a blessed weekend and are staying safe and well in these difficult times.