Something New!

                                                                 

Blogland is new to me this December. I am really enjoying all of the different ways there are to get involved, connect with others and to learn something new. The Virtual Advent Tour is one way I'm enjoying connecting with other fantastic bloggers this year.

Another "new to me" December tradition is this fantastic end of year project called reverb10 and created by Gwen Bell. It consists of 31 writing prompts, created each day by a different author. Lots and lots of people are joining in and sharing on twitter, their blogs and on the reverb10 site.

I had decided I was going to journal about the prompts just for myself. I would just watch the wonderful daily writings and reflecting by others, from afar. Today I feel like joining in, diving in, shaking off my fears and enjoying the excitement. It's a little bit infectious!

I'm still a little bit scared and am certainly not shouting about my blog from the rooftops. But I'm here and that can only be a good thing, even if I am whispering.

So today, for my third Advent post, I'm going to post little snippets of what I have written for the first two day's reverb10 prompts. (Note to self: write a short blog post for a change or people will be yawning)

December 1st - Prompt 1: Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

2010 Visible - definition 1a. capable of being seen. 2a. exposed to view. 3. Capable of being discovered of perceived. 4. Accessible.  Antonyms: invisible, sightless, viewless.

In March I enrolled in Susannah Conway's Unravelling e-course and one of the first pictures I took for this was of my reflection in a lift door. Someone commented on the photo saying that I was "barely there". This year I've been helping my inner self become more visible and that has involved gently exposing my outer self too! I am still working on this and blogging is part of the process. (Oh by the way I believe that the January Unravelling course is open for registration tomorrow!)

2011 I settled on Peace as my word. I'm cheating slightly as I also want Trust and Love. I think to be peaceful I will have to manifest love and trust also! Maybe also a bit of Voice and a healthy dollop of Joy. I know, I know I'm being greedy.

December 2nd – Prompt 2: Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

Oooch! when I read this, my instant reaction was (like a good many others) "I am not a writer. this reverb thing is not for me." Then I reflected a little more and wrote in my journal.

Whoosh! Something happened. "No", I wrote, "I am not a writer but I do like to write. I like to think I might be able to write something wonderful. I fear that I cannot write. I play with writing in my journal, nothing serious and pretty awful mostly! I write many, many, words, here, there and everywhere. Not as many as I'd like. I used to write in my teens and in my childhood. I write at work, reports and diaries. I have painfully written thousands and thousands of words in essays as a student. I've written so many letters to folk over the years. So no I am not a writer but I like to write. I prefer the written word to the spoken word. I would like to write more often. I would like to say I love to write".

So? Answer.The.Question. What do I do each day that doesn't.....etc., etc...

I don't write.

I think critical thoughts about my ability to write.

I compare myself to others.

If I try to write I might fail so I don't write.

I do other things that take less energy.

I tell myself I don't have the emotional space or energy to write.

When I do write I agonize too much about the quality.

I go to work.

I engage in energy sapping activities.

I dither around doing anything else than to listen to my own voice - ie., more self help and repeating old learning.

I sleep late.

I watch TV.

I don't open that creative writing book I bought - how many years ago?

I don't look for a creative writing course - "real writers don't need a course"!

I watch more TV.

I fear, I brood, I cry.

I check social networking sites.

I join even more websites.

I read books, papers, blogs.

I stay unfocused and uncertain of who I am .......

Ok that's enough of a list! It's getting a bit unkind now.

Next question. Can I eliminate it?

Maybe?

If I choose to.

If I want to.

If I make a vow to.

If I focus.

If I take small steps.

If I am kind to myself.

If I am brave enough.

I can step into this boat which I name "my writing" and I can push it gently away from the shore. Just enjoying the motion. There is no urgency. I can drift across the lake. Or I can take the oars. I am only on the lake after all.  Not on a river. Not out at sea. I am going nowhere. Just enjoying messing around on the lake.

Ok another long one. But at least it had lists! That makes a change and is something new.