Hello. I'm here this morning, sending love out into blogland; taking the opportunity at this inbetween time after Christmas and before the New Year begins.
Previous year up to this one, I would want to stay in the darkness...with the artificial and candle light creating a cocoon; and the illusion that time is halted for a little while.
Only a few walks on hillsides or beside the ocean would tempt me outside.
I've always reluctant to go back out into the real world and life as it usually is.... which for me was always work and busy busy busy.
These few days are almost like that time in the morning when you are still in bed but awake, and know you can snuggle back down for a few more minutes.
This year I still feel that sense of time standing still, however the big change is that I am not working at the moment ..... so no return to that busy busy work-life without balance. A new way of living lies ahead of me in 2023... I will be working again and I cannot deny that it is going to be a challenge not to return to my old ways. However I am determined not to return fully to the "land of busy" and to make some time for self-care, creativity and reflection.
I will turn 60 years young in February and my healthy adult self is in the driving seat more often than not.... this journey continues in a more balanced way and with space and time for thriving.
I am curious and grateful to experience this next chapter.
Sending love to you dear bog friends for a peaceful and joyful 2023 - signing off now. xx
Hello, and thank you for your kind comments on my last post. I'm sorry I've not replied to those who commented sooner, however as you can see my December reflections photograph project managed to be squeezed in amongst the busy.
Though I had intended to post the photos at least weekly, as that clearly didn't happen. I was however stepping my way gently through Advent and taking a photo a day really kept me grounded in "gentle" especially on some very tough and challenging days. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am very aware of how lucky I have been in my life ......but somehow the depression and anxiety that I have lived with most of my life just won't shift. You can't see it on the outside (well some days you can), but some days I have to accept that it takes all of my strength to get out of bed and do the things I have to do each day.
Taking a photo a day in December really helped me to find the joy and to keep remembering that I am a worthwhile person who deserves to be here in the world and who deserves to be happy.
Here is the list of prompts with a link to Susannah's website:
1. Sparkle, 2. Hot Drink, 3. Red, 4. Sacred Space, 5. Branches, 6.Best Book of 2015, 7. Best Photo of 2015, 8. Shadows, 9. Gold, 10.Something beginning with A..., 11. The Space In-Between, 12. My Smile, 13. Circles, 14. Warmth, 15. Numbers, 16. Delicious
I hope that your December, Christmas and New Year were warm and safe, and that you were not alone (unless you wanted to be so), and that you did not feel alone. The world has seemed like such an alien place sometimes this past year, with the reactions to the refugee crisis, and terrorist attacks resulting in more fear and suspicion towards innocent people. More drawing up of our drawbridges and barricading ourselves in against the dangers outside!
Sometimes we can forget that most people are kind hearted and generous, and have good intentions. Sometimes we can feel despair for the world's children and their future. For me, I think that this is age talking, after years of being an idealist, it feels that nothing is changing and that the same mistakes are being repeated.
As you know I do not have a faith, but on Christmas Eve every year I go with my sisters to a children's carol service. This year the vicar played this version of Emmanuel by Enya, which I think is beautiful and expresses something of what we might all be feeling after this year's world events....
I remind myself that for each of us, baby steps and everyday actions are our contribution to making this world a better place. When we feel we have nothing to offer, just getting out of the door when it is still dark and driving into the sunrise to work, filling yourself with some love, just enough to find the courage to say "good morning" and "how are you?" - that really makes a difference to the world and to yourself on the darkest of days.
This year I will try to be more curious and less judgemental. Curiosity is something I have never quite formed into a habit. Time to restore my factory settings back to childhood mode I think!
Happy New Year from my blog to yours and may all your wishes for your world come true.
