Catching up under the August Moon Days 5, 6, and 7

 

Once in a blue moon, what would you wish for?

I am currently enjoying a time to reflect along with  Kat's August Moon 13

Kat writes: "As we transition into the last quarter of the year, we are inviting you to join us in responding to a series of prompts designed to bring you closer to all you wanted 2013 to be. We reckon that now is the time to ask: the universe will hear you."

Day 5: Have you developed new yearnings so far this year? Have you let go of old ones?  

To Yearn  

1.to have an earnest or strong desire; long: to yearn for a quiet vacation.  

2.to feel tenderness; be moved or attracted: They yearned over their delicate child.

Synonyms
1. Yearn, long, hanker, pine all mean to feel a powerful desire for something. Yearn stresses the depth and passionateness of a desire: to yearn to get away and begin a new life; to yearn desperately for recognition. Long implies a wholehearted desire for something that is or seems unattainable: to long to relive one's childhood; to long for the warmth of summer. Hanker suggests a restless or incessant craving to fulfill some urge or desire: to hanker for a promotion; to hanker after fame and fortune. Pine adds the notion of physical or emotional suffering as a result of the real or apparent hopelessness of one's desire: to pine for one's native land; to pine for a lost love.

Yearnings? We humans been to be one big bundle of yearnings. Me especially it seems. Are yearnings the same as wants? My wants drive everyone mad. Or are these my yearnings? Maybe I want because my yearnings are unfulfilled? As a child someone always used to say to me "I want doesn't get." I get that. I really do. I wonder though if I just don't invest much want into those deepest yearnings. Practicality always seems to show up.

Anyway.....

An old yearning has re-surfaced this year and is on track to becoming a big part of  life next year.  Old yearnings that are always with me will again have to be put on the back burner for a substantial amount of time. There are big decisions to be made. New yearnings intertwined with old yearnings are circling like birds above my head. When will they settle?

Still, it is good to have choices and life has presented me with these. I have made one life-changing decision, now I need to decide if there are other things to decide. Living in the moment is what it's about right now for me.

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 Day 6: The Zeniths and the Nadirs. Where have the highlights and the low points been for you so far in 2013? Where are you now? How would you like your year to end? 

Why is it always easier to think of the Nadirs? 

The lowest point this year has been allowing myself to get into such a dark place. 
I have felt out of control and destructive. 
I let anxiety, and ego affect my health and my relationships.

Thankfully now this has passed and I am feeling more grounded.

Is it possible for a Zenith and Nadir to happen at the same time? 

For years I have spent time wishing and hoping for something/someone to come back into our lives. This year it happened and it has been wonderful to have been able to share in the joy that this has brought. 

I find it very hard to explain why my mood seemed to have become so dark and my behaviour towards myself and others so destructive when this is such a huge high point in our lives. 

Well actually I can explain it, I just can't excuse it. 

I could have dealt with all of the challenges that appeared at just the same time, in a very different way.

Thankfully there have been very many other highs: 

- my birthday night and the celebrations with my family

- being given a conditional offer to return to University in January

- I met some amazing and resourceful people in my day job

I would like 2013 to end with me feeling happy, healthy, peaceful and strong.

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Day 7: What once-in-a-blue-moon opportunities came your way so far in 2013?

This: 

And this: 

And this: 

 

And this: 

And this:

 

And this: 

It has been a whirlwind of a year so far. Now I would like to create the opportunity for some slow and some gentle. I'm off to yoga tonight for the first time in two years. I can feel the slow and the gentle seeping into my body already and I'm not even there yet.

Breathe.