I'm wearing big girl panties in 2013

Hello. Here I am arriving in 2013. I got here eventually. A little late but ready to create my New Year. I've got my big girl panties on.

A Happy New Year to you and yours. Much love to you all.

"This year isn't going to be just like every other year. This year is a new year. It may have elements of other years. Yet it is unique. We may try to make it the same in our minds and not be open to the new opportunitieses presented to us. It's up to us. Here's hoping for a New Year."

-  quote comes from my new desk calendar

#reverb12 and #adventwindows have really helped me to process and reflect on 2012 and to put that year in it's place! My word for 2012 was ALIVE. When I chose that word I did not know of course, what lay in store for us. ALIVE was me wanting to dive into life as I never had before. Then came the unexpected twists and turns of fate, and alive was sometimes not some place I wanted to be. I slept through a lot of it. Then when the worst was over, and we had another wave of misfortune, and then when life gave us some respite, I was awake every night and seemed to be at the mercy of my mind! Which wasn't very merciful at all!

Alive? This was the year I was meant to LIVE ALIVE! Hey what happened 2012?

Now on reflection, I feel it was exactly the perfect word for 2012.

ALIVE. It anchored me when things felt as low as I could ever have imagined them to feel.

ALIVE. It brought me to a place of gratitude.

ALIVE. It brought me to a place of peace.

ALIVE. It offers me a place of acceptance. This is where I start 2013.

During #adventwindows and #Reverb12 I found this poem. It was on the day I pulled out the word "Choose" - Day 13.

Lines Written in the Days of Growing Darkness

Mary Oliver

Every year we have been witness

to it: how the

world decends

into a rich mash, in order that

it may resume.

And therefore who would cry out

to the petals on the ground

to stay,

knowing as we must

how the vivacity of what was is married

to the vitality of what will be?

I don't say

it's easy, but

what else will do

if the love one claims to have for the world

be true?

So let us go on, cheerfully enough, 

this and every crisping day,

though the sun be swinging east,

and the ponds be cold and black,

and the sweets of the year be doomed.

The day before I had found this glorious poem ,when thinking about the word "Give". Along with the word came this quote:

"God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well."   -Voltaire

 I decided then that my word for the year would be "Choose" - I ruminated on it for the rest of December and then completed the Word of the Year discovery tool from Christine Kane, found again via Kat at "I saw you dancing."

On the way to finding my word for 2013, I also visited "Learn", "Nourish", "Radiate", "Listen", "Curious", "Hope(in action)", "Expand", "Touch", "Join" - but I kept coming back to "CREATE". Yes that's right. Not Choose - CREATE!

"Create what you most need to find." 

- Sabrina Ward Harrison

I loved all of the words I visited, especially "Listen", "Learn", "Touch" and "Curious". They can all bring me so many gifts this coming year. However I wanted my word to place the power and responsibility squarely on me. I wanted my word for 2013 to be a word of arrival and of power, whilst knowing that I needed to let go and accept. 

CREATE, brings me freedom and peace. It brings me laughter and joy. I create my own reality. I am the Creator of NOW.

CREATE, allows me to listen, learn, touch, be curious, write, make, choose. It requires me to stay open.

CREATE, gives me the choice to expand effort and time where I choose; on relationships, on community, on self-care, on spirituality, on home and family. I can create ways to nourish myself and others.

CREATE, helps me to put my hope into meaningful action.

CREATE, gives me the tools I need to make a new story about the past, the present and the future. I am the artist, the author, the creator.

CREATE, gives me choices. I can choose to work too hard and to be swept along. Or I can choose to work with more focus, less resentment and to invest more time and effort into the things I love to do. I can create more of a work/life balance.

CREATE, needs me to be compassionate. Create is not a hard task master, it needs me to be my own compassionate friend; however it also needs me to practice and learn. Letting myself off the hook is ok, but not all of the time! 

Here are two more reminders for me today as I launch into Creating 2013, and reluctantly leave this Christmas and New Year's period behind. I am back to the day job tomorrow so need to be armed with my CREATE shield and magic wand. I'm taking Christmas with me. Big girl pants might help too I thought.

Have you chosen your word yet? Or are you making resolutions? Whatever is happening for you I wish you a creative and joyful 2013, one that is a little kinder to us all, and to the world.

Oh and thank you. There is so much love and wisdom out there in blogland.