"Activism is my rent for living on the planet."
- Alice Walker
I've been so busy working, that my post from early in the year about activism, and about how I never really had the courage to get out there and put my money where my mouth is; has soon been forgotten, as I once again make my choices; choosing to survive and keep myself and my loved ones afloat(in the safety of the life we have become accustomed to).... instead of choosing to make the break and live a different life. Maybe the one I think I could have been living all these years.
It's very hard to make the choice to break away from the conventional life. Life is short and I suppose there are few people who can really live the life of an activist, and look after their families at the same time. Some manage it and manage to have both like Swampy from my earlier post, some like Alice Walker, maybe give up one for the other. Most of us are just trying to survive in the reality that we are born into, and doing what we can.
On Saturday I and millions of others, awoke to more shocking news about Syrian refugees and the "refugee crisis". Not for the first time I was floored by the sheer scale of this current movement of people, and the horror both of what they are fleeing, and the life they face as refugees. I recall other situations of war where people have fled and are still suffering the effects years later, but I don't recall such a massive movement of people before. Everyone seems to have a view about what should and should not happen and whether or not our more privilaged countries should help by allowing more people in.
I was trying to grasp the enormity and loss people are facing as I sat in my comfortable chair, unable to really contemplate my own life comforts ever being taken away. I really struggled to comprehend the peace and security I have, these moments of drinking tea and browsing the internet, being warm and safe in my house, and how it would feel to have all this taken away.
It didn't seem enough, and I continued to reflect on protest movements of the past , my lack of action; and on trying to find a way to try to align the way I life my life to fit more with my values and beliefs. It is tempting to think I could just walk out of my life and start another; but I have to be honest about my skills and what I have to offer. Other people with the right skills, are best out there helping on the ground, and people like me best placed to help with donations and raising awareness.
It does sometimes feel that I am not living my values.......picking and choosing....my life a compromise......
Today I found this post by Patti Digh, all about coming to terms with the reality of your life, about the gap between intention and action and accepting this, not beating yourself up or feeling ashamed. Getting to know the reality and the mess of your life as it is, being kind and smiling at the gap between your ideal and and the real. That's where I am now. Taking stock, appreciating the mess, and taking the "demons of not enough....out to dinner." But also seeing where the reality needs to change... where I am surviving again and not thriving.
So I am also thinking about "the luxury of sitting still and stepping back" in order to make sense of where I have arrived in my life, and my current reality. Working to excess and having no time for other important parts of my life, including my values and beliefs; cannot continue much longer.
But for now I need to make some time in my busy days for sitting still.
I think the issue is there are so many issues! The whole planet is on tilt. In my own neighbourhood there are people without proper shelter and not enough food to eat. It spreads out from there. I can't watch the news because it is so distressing to not be able to to anything to help. I feel like I am tied down having to watch it all, helpless. Meanwhile you have the evils of Donald Trump and his messages of hate and intolerance and the people eating it up. Why does he have so much influence and you and I almost none?
ReplyDeleteI don't know. It is all so backwards.
A very thought provoking post, Jan which I'm sure resonates with so many people. I agree that it does no good to beat oneself up over what we can't or don't do. We just need to soldier on and do the best we can. And, like you, to pause now and then to see what needs adjusting to give us a fuller, meaningful life. Sometimes a meaningful life is making sure our loves ones are safe and comfortable and loved so they can go out into the sometimes dark and hostile world. Sometimes we just need to keep ourselves safe and comfortable.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time we can look for opportunities that come our way to help via funds or via hands on help. You are right that the sheer scale of people requiring help from Syria is mind boggling. In my city (and country) so many people have signed up to help the refugees but a lot of the people are not needed. It is still amazing to know that there is more than enough people who want to help refugees.
The real challenge to helping refugees in my country is the sheer cost of living (food, transport, other) and housing. So many of them are still living in hotels weeks and weeks after arrival because of lack of appropriate and affordable housing. I could have predicted that before they arrived since it is was a problem before they arrived. But the problem is compounded for people who will have only a short time (1 year) to integrate, find a job and try to make a life. Some refugees have complained (only a few) and want to go back to the refugee camp. The majority of them say they are happy for the chance to make a better life. They will need perseverance and optimism.
Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog Jan. It's been nice "seeing" you again. xx
Dear Jan. The refugee crisis is an enormous issue and we in our comfortable lifestyle can feel overwhelmed by what is happening especially when individuals and families tell their story to those who are reporting the situation and we see the suffering, bewilderment and determination to escape the horrors they've fled from. There's also so much to be done in the places where we live to try and help those in need. I'm sure your situation is different, but you do remind me of someone dear to us whose often exhausted by the workload as she looks after the health of children and young people. I think the majority of people are trying their best to survive economically, physically and mentally and it's good that some people have the energy and determination to go to protest meetings and stand up for the vulnerable. I'm sure you have a demanding job, Jan, and I hope that you have support and opportunities to rest your mind as well as your body, 'just be' and not feel guilty about that. Sending my best wishes :)
ReplyDelete