January 2016 has seemed an uphill climb at times. January is not my favourite month in many ways, it seems so long and cold and dark after the lights and celebrations of December. This year seemed particularly bleak as I have mentioned in previous posts, but the full moon last weekend seems to have brought a bit of relief and illumination.
In this dark month, having arrived where I am due to my own choices, I am clinging on for dear life. Everyday brings fresh challenges and I am working like I have never worked before.
I have taken a risk and am transforming. It is addictive and as discussed in my last post I am not sure it is good for me.
However this is where I am, and what I need is to make some space for other important aspects of my life if I am to thrive and grow. Racing around as I have been doing in my work life is no good. I realise that. But for now that is how it is.
In January I did manage to make some space for walking, reading and looking around in awe and wonder at the miracles around me.....
Brrr! - 1st January 2016
Sun setting - 10th January 2016
Trying to capture the seagulls against the sky! - 10th January 2016
What an amazing sky! - 10th January 2016
Ploughing through this one as it meanders. I'm sure it will be worth it in the end.
Read in a few nights - really moving story of bereavement.
16th January 2016 - walk around the park with my son.
Winter rainbow - before the cold snap began. 8th January 2016
I've also been making space for reading the news. This story brought a tear to my eye this morning as I've been thinking about loss. The loss of a parent, particularly a Mother will always trigger my deepest emotions. In my work I am hearing people's stories all of the time, about loss and hurt and sometimes my actions can bring about situations of loss for others. It's a tough call which explains why many Saturday mornings are spent crying and shouting at Mr Stayingawake.
Don't worry it's been better for a couple of weeks now and Mr Stayingawake really understands and tries to help. We enjoyed some candle light during a power cut early in January which was fun and prompted me to make some space for Mr Staying awake. We've also made space for skyping with our Granddaughter.
Power cut - 8th January 2016
I've also been making some space to listen to this ......
I hope that you're January has included space for the things you love.
I am always more than a little baffled when I hear about a mother that is, well, anything less than what my own mother was to me or how I am to my own children. Never, not in a million years would I sever ties with my children. When I was growing up I had two friends that had step fathers that molested them and then their mothers *stayed* with the molester. I find that equally baffling. In this case the mother sounds like she may have been a sociopath and I admire the courage of the daughter that wrote the article. To choose to love and not hold anger and resentment is not an easy thing. Loving someone who doesn't love you back and goes out of her way to avoid a relationship takes a lot of introspection.
It must be wonderful to have a mother who loves you unconditionally. I didn't, and I find it hard when I encounter the usual "mother's love conquers all" attitude. Sometimes a mother is a poisonous, savage and very damaging experience.
Another great post Jan. I'm very glad to hear that you are taking time to appreciate the beauty all around through nature walks, reading, taking beautiful photos, etc. It is so important to make space to nurture ourselves often so we can deal with whatever life brings our way. Mr. Stayingawake sounds like a fantastic partner too as he is so understanding. Much love xx
I am always more than a little baffled when I hear about a mother that is, well, anything less than what my own mother was to me or how I am to my own children. Never, not in a million years would I sever ties with my children. When I was growing up I had two friends that had step fathers that molested them and then their mothers *stayed* with the molester. I find that equally baffling.
ReplyDeleteIn this case the mother sounds like she may have been a sociopath and I admire the courage of the daughter that wrote the article. To choose to love and not hold anger and resentment is not an easy thing. Loving someone who doesn't love you back and goes out of her way to avoid a relationship takes a lot of introspection.
I like the first picture. A seagull convention!
It must be wonderful to have a mother who loves you unconditionally. I didn't, and I find it hard when I encounter the usual "mother's love conquers all" attitude. Sometimes a mother is a poisonous, savage and very damaging experience.
ReplyDeleteAnother great post Jan. I'm very glad to hear that you are taking time to appreciate the beauty all around through nature walks, reading, taking beautiful photos, etc. It is so important to make space to nurture ourselves often so we can deal with whatever life brings our way. Mr. Stayingawake sounds like a fantastic partner too as he is so understanding. Much love xx
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