Love - really, this is about love; I promise it is.

I started this post on Wednesday, but am not sure what it is I am really trying to say.

Except that I need to stamp my feet; and wring my hands; and scream that it is "not fair!" I struggle to make sense of life sometimes. Why do bad things happen to "good" people? Isn't life tough enough?

Human beings can do unspeakable things to each other. Some human beings can.

In fact any human being is capable of doing such things, if the conditions for these things to take place are there. If their road has been a different one to most other people who do not do such things. They arrive in a place that allows them to make that choice to do something unspeakable.

Others of us human beings, can make mistakes, tumble into wrong doings through youth, or ignorance or confusion or through harmful patterns or poor choices. We can make mistakes. Not commit the unspeakable crimes I talk about above, simply mistakes.

Or we can be in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Or someone sets out to cause us harm because they want to get their own back, or because they have judged us through their own warped eye-glass.

Bad things happen to good people.

Sometimes. Bad things happen to good people.

I repeat this. Maybe it will sink in.

 Sometimes these bad things happen through malice and ego.

I shake my head.

I know this.

I already know this.

Today I know this again.

Tomorrow I will know this once again.

Maybe if I repeat it enough times I will believe it.

I feel sorrow.

Sometimes this is clear. Bad things happen to good people.

Sometimes less so. Is this a good person? Is there such a person? Are we all good people? A bad thing is happening but does someone ever "deserve" it?

People who commit terrible crimes against others, they spend their time causing misery, they are out there doing what they do everyday; for example a 65 year old woman was severely beaten up a few days ago, someone badly hurt her to steal her £20 ring! When these things are happening all of the time, why would someone deliberately set out to cause harm to someone who is a good-intentioned person? So that police waste their time and resources. So that an innocent person's life is so very nearly blighted forever. So that this person becomes more vulnerable, and starts to change from the happy, open, accepting and friendly person they are....to someone wary, worried about what other's think, angry and fearful.

When unspeakable crimes are being committed....when this horrific crime happens, or this one; or when children are hurt and abused like this; or when young people are groomed and sexually exploited; why would someone seek to cause harm to a decent young adult who is doing their best, after what wasn't an easy childhood and youth? After struggling with their own identity and becoming a fine young adult. Then this, a vindictive woman decides to try to harm this person, because someone close to him crossed her.

I wish that the person who has been causing the harm could stop and ask herself this question. Doesn't the world have too much hate and harm already? Couldn't she just have stopped and thought about the harm she might do a good person who is doing his best to grow into a decent human being?

But I know that she sees the world in black and white. 

I also know that she loves, gives love and is a warrior.

I know that today.

Tomorrow I will know this again.

Sometimes this is clear. She is loving, courageous and a warrior.

It is clear that I do not know best and that she does not know best.

I promise that whatever happens I will still love her and understand her motives. I am trying not to write judgemental things....like....I hope that whatever happens she will not blindly judge....she will not gossip.....she will not fuel hatred and fear for her own ends....to get revenge....to protect her ego.....so that she can feel superior....so that she can be right.....so that she feels a sense of power and authority.

If she judges. So be it. That is who she is.

I judge. I judge her. I am trying to be aware of this. I am trying not to hate her. I am trying to love her.

Maybe she does what she thinks is the right thing.

Society has made us this way.

It has also given us the knowledge to step back from something. To see the grey areas.

To love and to accept. To forgive and to understand. To be compassionate.

The end.  Maybe you can hear what I am trying to say? Maybe you understand?

(Saturday: I read this piece of writing  this morning which is helping to keep me on the love path.)

I would like to bless the memory of those human beings that are the victims of crime, and that I have referred to in the links to their stories - Jade Philpott, 10, and brothers John, nine, Jack, seven, Jessie, six, Jayden, five, and 13-year-old Duwayne; Khyra Ishaq 7 years old; Baby Peter 17 months old; Amy Howson 16 months old; Alfie Goddard 11 weeks old. Those that are still alive I also send blessings and love to, especially Tina Nash who is a very courageous and loving human being. May we all learn from her and take courage from her.