Hello July!
This morning, in my "morning chair", I am sitting and reconnecting with myself.
At the edges of my thinking there is a sense of panic. The seconds and minutes of my Sunday are so precious. The seconds and minutes of my life are so precious. In the blink of my eye, it will be Monday morning. In the blink of my eye it will all be over.
My mind is racing about joining this or that and about doing so many things. I guess that is the summer energy calling me.....
I was talking to someone yesterday about my tendency to have a lot of ideas about what I want to do in the world, and how I want to spend my very precious free time. How I often have difficulty bringing my ideas to fruition. This is something I always blame on my work life and that lack of a work life balance. It is also due to my wanting so much, being distracted by all that is possible, my lack of focus on just one thing and a lack of clarity about my desires (thanks Jen Louden).
How do you manage all the distractions and exciting things going on out there? Just this morning alone I have seen three online courses I really really want to sign up for, but I already have a lot of unfinished courses I joined and did not complete. Lots of books waiting to be read. How do I give time to follow my interests when there is already so much demanding my attention? How do I manage myself and avoid the inevitable overwhelm?
Saying Hello to July here might help settle my mind and give me some focus.
Let me spend some time reflecting through some photos and words on how my June went. I am still taking a photo a day and this is a really quick way for me to check in with myself on busy days. Sometimes I add a quote that is a meaningful reminder to me, or occasionally I might write some words of my own. I miss writing my own words.
June started with a bang, on June 1st I spend a long day working in the park. The sun was shining and the events of the day made my heart both ache and overflow with love at the same time. I reflect on how privileged I am to do the work I do, and I am always trying to find ways to do it well and to keep improving. Some days I still doubt myself and wonder if I need to move on and leave this very difficult and often heart breaking work to the younger people. That time is approaching fast. You do need to be so strong, resilient and whole in yourself to do this work.
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June 1st 2021
"The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches but to reveal to him his own." Benjamin Disraeli |
It is great to be out and about for work and in my personal life, seeing signs everywhere that are making my heart fill with joy. How lovely that the libraries are opening again and that human beings, older and younger can socialise again with each other. The pandemic lockdowns have really brought that home to me, just how much we humans need human connection and physical presence.
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June 3rd 2021
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| June 3rd 2021 |
As I go about my work, I reflect on how to treat myself more kindly, like a small child, like a friend... something I continue to learn and try to do for myself. I am walking out with more confidence these days and more of a sense of being worthwhile. I am becoming more whole, leaning into life, and leaning back onto my long dinosaur tail. Some days I still feel like I am drowning, but the tide is always coming in and going out again, and I continue to learn about my own ebbing and flowing.
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| 5th June 2021 |
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| 5th June 2021 |
I'm also learning how to relax and have fun, to enjoy life and to laugh. I'm doing really well in this lesson, but there is always a serious side and meaning made. Watching "Saturday Night Fever" again after all these years, I saw a side to the film that I had not realised the significance of in 1977 when I was a teenager. Watching it now I see how the content regarding gender roles, and gang culture is so very relevant to today's teenagers both for girls and boys trapped in areas of poverty and high crime. Such a sad film with amazing music and dancing, and the ending gives some hope for Tony, the character played by John Travolta... hope that individuals can get out of terrible situations and change the future for others.
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| 5th June 2021 |
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| 9th June 2021 - Motherland |
I'm laughing a lot at the moment and one of the reasons why is the above television comedy programme which can be found on iplayer currently. I love all of the main group of characters, and this is Julia played by Anna Maxwell Martin. Great writing and acting, I'm totally hooked.
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12th June 2021
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June has been a clearing the garden kind of month, and a "getting to grips with" outstanding garden and house matters. This "getting to grips with" continues in July as there is a lot that needs doing! I am asking for help more which is a great step forward for me, it has always been something I have struggled to do preferring to do things myself (for "do things" read "not do things").
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| 13th June 2021 |
Cycling, spending time with friends and family, walking, enjoying the sunshine and beautiful skies. Life is full and blooming at the moment, so why am I feeling so much restlessness? Questions I am asking are about what it is I have to learn about friendships and about being in relationship to others; about how to trust myself, keep my word to myself and take care of myself.
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| 14th June 2021 |
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| 15th June 2021 |
We met up in the park for a whole team development day. It is over a year since I saw my colleagues face to face. We continue to work from home which I would have always wanted prior to the Pandemic. Strangely this introvert and socially anxious human being does miss being in the office. It is likely we will continue to work from home but have some opportunities for office working too.
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