When catching up on blog visiting, reading and commenting this morning, I found this week's Worthiness Wednesday post. I am so glad I did. I've been missing from worthiness wednesday for a while. Amazingly Kat is celebrating 30 worthiness wednesday posts. How wonderful her encouragement and her honestly about her journey has been. Her words have often helped me and I cannot thank her enough. Kat asked us to join her, by spending some time with these three words....."I am worthy." So I did.
This morning I was falling into those old traps of giving away my power and my worthiness to someone else. In this particular case it is someone who has decided to verbally attack me/criticise me on facebook. I didn't sleep too well and heard myself saying these words in my head...."This is going to set me back six months". I could feel the stress and anxiety in my body and was fearful that I was just strong enough, not balanced enough, not adult enough, not good enough, not worthy enough.... to continue on this path of accepting myself. I almost fell back into the old traps of making something, someone else's acceptance of me or rejection of me more important than just being me, real and authentic and imperfect.
So I got out my felt tips, crayons and water colour pencils and started writing out these three words. Then other words about worthiness. Then copying out key phrases from "The Gifts of Imperfection". The whole page is covered in words about worthiness, authenticity and love. Oh and then I played around with the photograph on Photoshop! Just what I needed to shake off the hurt and nastiness of yesterday. Oh and this really helped too, I loved the music and the poem so much (thank you Birdie and Isa).
Absolutely beautiful, Jan! I really love what you have done here, both in terms of creative something lovely but also how you have reclaimed your energies and used them for something nourishing and empowering.
ReplyDeleteI know from experience that this is not easy to do.
Thank you for all your wonderful participation and support and encouragement, my dear gal. Would you mind emailing me your postal address katsawyoudancing@gmail.com ?
I'd love to send you a little something...
Kat x
I have no idea when I will stop being so affected by what other's think of me. The thing is, I can have 100 people how highly they think of me and 1 to tell me something negative and I listen to the one.
ReplyDeleteJan, we do learn from this. Each time we *do* a little better and get out of the muck a little quicker. I used to spends days or weeks where I allowed others view of me direct where I was going. Now, it is usually just a few hours. Don't get me wrong. Last night I was sobbing. It was for me yes, but it was also for a bigger picture of always giving so much love and knowing there will always be jerks out there that we can't help. I love so much and I want to others to feel what I feel. But, that is not going to happen.
Keep being true to what you know is right, good and true. Your mom is proud of you dear one.
And,
"I love my heart and soul. I love all humanity. Join hearts and souls together. Love, peace and harmony"
I say delete that prickly person off your Facebook. Or at least ignore her. You bring a lot of light and don't need anyone snuffing it out for even a moment. I recently deleted my friends list down from 150 to just over the 35 people that love me the most.
You are both so kind. Thank you. x
ReplyDelete