So much for posting everyday! Ah well it's summer: August break Days 13 - 16

The art work in the first photo is not mine.

You might ask why is that the photograph that I chose for "Home". I was going to post a photograph of a house in the Lakes that I want to move to (on my own). Actually I want to move to any house on my own right now!

The young woman who drew this is living in our home with her boyfriend. They are very young(early twenties but maybe three years younger emotionally). She is clearly an artist(just like her brother); though she doesn't think so.

I am feeling a little vulnerable and behaving badly.

It is all quite difficult.

 Mr Stayingawake said to her the other day when she complained of a cold, "It's only as bad as you make it."

He could easily have said that to me.

Right now "home" feels like this photograph to me.

Probably it feels worse for her.

She is probably missing her home. Missing her Mother.

I need to remember that and also that I am the one who is supposed to be wiser because of my years.

Truth is I felt more myself at her age than I do now.

But enough of my feeling sorry for myself. Surely age makes me the one who needs to behave with more dignity.

Whilst being compassionate to myself and understanding that there is more going on in my life than just two young people I don't know coming to live with us; I also need to remember that I am able to see the bigger picture if I choose to do so. I am able to be a supporting and kind presence in their lives. In her life.

I do not know how to have a daughter.

I do not know how to be the Mother(step-mother) of a daughter.

Day 13: Home

Day 14: Touch

Day 15: Stillness

Day 16: Books

I am participating in the 2013 August Break hosted by Susannah Conway as I have done for the past few years. I hope you are having a relaxing August wherever you are and are finding some time to play.