"Live "on Purpose" by deciding what you want and what your life will be about. Stop complaining. Stop waiting. Stop wanting
others to be different. YOU get to choose how you will live your life. Never make it about someone else, or the situation or circumstances. BE the way you want your life to unfold, and the Law will manifest exactly that for you!"
Back in March we went for a walk together, Mr Stayingawake and me. Back before all of the events of the past month occurred. Other things were happening then. We took a walk in the sunshine, the day before he went back to work after a short break. I knew how much he was dreading it. The sun was shining and he had spent a week doing very little, feeling overwhelmed and uncertain. "Let's go out," he had said. It worked of course. He felt better. It gave him some strength to face what was lying ahead for him that week.
Now we are a month on. Life throws us some more challenges. We both feel tired of fighting. We have to remain strong for each other and our loved ones. All around us people are struggling too. I look at those who are faced with troubles and yet continue to bring joy to others. As ever I wonder how they do it? I look a little more closely and see it takes an ability to be in the moment, an ability to bring something of themselves into that moment.
Today I choose to try a new way of being. Someone needs me to bring a smile and some comfort. Someone needs me to bring something of myself to this moment. I need to dig deep. I need this too - to choose in this moment to do something different, to choose what today will be about.
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| I can hear a bird singing up there somewhere |
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| Aha! |
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| Is there a dinosaur burried under there? |
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| He finds some peace among the trees |
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| Memories of two years before in this same place - taking the same photograph |
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| And seeing the shadows again. |
I find that life comes at us in ebbs and flows. Just a few weeks back I was thinking how I am finally feeling a little better, more centred since my mom died. I was thinking that at that moment everything was OK. Then we found out my dad has cancer.
ReplyDeleteIt is a horrible feeling to feel yourself being sucked down and you know that the time of "OK" is going to be a long way off. It is hard when you are so tried. It is hard when your body aches and getting out of bed is a chore.
But, you are so right. It is the small things that must bring us pleasure. A bird. A hot soak in the tub. Sleeping in. Holding the hand of a loved one. My favourites are how I feel after doing some Yoga stretches. I also love the feeling of getting off work in the morning on my last shift for my week. Fresh bed sheets are heavenly and I really should change them more than once a week just because they bring me so much pleasure. I also love spraying lavender. So many small thing. I don't know if it helps to deal with the big bad scary monsters in life but it does keep me in the moment.
Thank you Birdie. Yes keeping in the moment is crucial and any of these small things do help on good days. Just getting ourselves out of the black hole of despair is an effort, but once we are out and walking forward however slowly, courage grows again. Love to you. xx
DeleteThank you for the reminder, that my life is what I decide it to be. I often forget. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your visit Lilith. I am so glad to have you here when you have such a lot going on. Sending love. xx
DeleteIt's lucky there are two of you. It is horrible to walk a difficult path alone. I know having another one's support doesn't make the problem go away but you can share each other's burdens. I hope the load grows lighter soon. Hugs. xx
ReplyDeleteThank you Penny.xx
Deletei've not been the best at keeping up with blogs. but i've dug into previous posts to get a bit more in tune with what you might be going through. all i can say is yes. bad things happen to good people. being in the thick of this and having no control is a horrible place to be. the worrying. the fighting. the lack of stability underneath ... all while we are expected to carry on. i feel for you in your situation. and i am holding space for you in this time of uncertainty. the tide is relentless. and it never waits for us to catch our breath, sometimes...or most times. and i do (also) find it hard at to find joy. it really is very easy to be stuck in the "it is not fair". i am sending so much strength to you and your loved ones. thinking of you. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteAh thank you Jojo. Your words and understanding make me feel less alone. xx
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